Joy of Reading

NOTE: Tola’s note is a journal about some activities I engaged in during the week(Month). Let's dive in!

BOOKS.

 My reading drive dropped off for the last five months of last year. From being able to read a book a week, I could barely finish a book in two months. My problem was, of course, self-inflicted. I complained that I spent about 8-12 hours on a book. If I could shelve those long hours into my “hustle”, I could achieve my goals faster. I thought that, an average hustler around my age didn’t have 10 hours to sit somewhere to read any book, all he was after was money to survive and that was the mindset I needed. 

Reading, just like writing, was a habit I picked up when I was big into writing stories. You can’t be a good story writer without being a big time reader.I read. I read a lot. If I was ever going to be a promiscuous person, my reading habits could signal how wide I loved to explore. But as with promiscuity, it gets very expensive, but I was lucky the only thing I had to pay with was TIME-too much of it.

So five months ago when I decided to cut down on my serious reading, I was fine for about three months-July through to September, and by October,  I started feeling very restless, my anxiety levels increased, and my attention span shortened. The relative calmness, which I didn’t realise came from reading, left, and minor disappointments seemed to throw me off balance- like the world was out to get me. 

I incorporated reading back into my life(not intentionally, more like relapsing into an old habit), slowly, until I could finish a book in two weeks. I started getting myself back as my emotions stabilised. I couldn’t explain why reading had such an impression on me until I read Tyson Fury’s autobiography: Behind the mask, where he wrote about his life on his journey to becoming a heavyweight champion and battling with clinical depression. Now, I don’t believe I am or suffered any form of clinical depression, but we all suffer or experienced low moments in life where things looked kind of uncertain. 

Mine was around 2016, and that period coincided with the time I took interest in writing and reading. For Tyson Fury, the only way he’s been able to manage his “low moments” is having a routine to exercise everyday. Exercising or going to the gym helped stabilise his emotions enough to be able to go about his day. In my case, writing and reading stabilised my emotions around the uncertainties of that time.  Writing came with a bit of effort, but reading flowed naturally. Reading about other people’s thoughts, real or imagined, gave me a sense of peace. In essence, reading was my fix. But since the timing of when I started reading merged with when I started writing, I thought reading was an activity I needed to become better at writing. In reality, it’s an activity I needed to  save myself from me. 

Stopping my reading habit brought back the emotions of 2016, and it took a while for me to figure that out. I hope when people are trying to encourage others to read, they can articulate why it's important to their well-being. I believe I get the same sensation or result as someone who smokes<inserts whatever people smoke> to achieve calmness when I read. I hope to remember this piece in the future when I get very stable and  think that I don’t need to read any more because of its time consuming nature.    

Epilogue.

As a result of getting my mind back, I want to restart writing consistently. But I am trying to also find a new objective for this newsletter. The objective for starting it initially was to make an archive for my learning progression. But in the last 6 months, my path has taken a different turn for good and I want to consolidate on the progress I have made so far in-private as it’s difficult to articulate my progress while being in the thick of the situation. 

Therefore, I will stick with writing about the books I am reading and lessons I draw from them. I may add more in the future but let’s start afresh with this. Also, shout out to Opeyimika for encouraging me to start writing about anything, until I figured out an objective. Please let’s have a great  year guys and get your PVC.